


Heart of the Nine

by Lotus_Fantasy



Series: IronFrost Adventures [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Chronically ill/injured Loki, Exploration of sex in a relationship, Hurt/Comfort, I freaking love these tags, IronFrost - Freeform, Loki has a difficult time expressing himself, Loki is the Silvertongue, M/M, Not Ragnarok / IW / Endgame compliant, Some Romance, Space Adventure, Tags May Change, The Aether is a sentient being, This is pretty angsty, Tony is a sweet and understanding boy, and the other can't, and treats Tony like her papa, and unintentionally keeps hurting Tony, lotta angst, some violence, where one partner wants it, who takes the form of a child
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-05-31 16:23:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19429684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lotus_Fantasy/pseuds/Lotus_Fantasy
Summary: Sequel to "The Bargain": Far from their homes and the Nine Realms, Tony and Loki embark on a journey of healing. There's something wrong with the green-eyed god of mischief, and Tony might just be the only one who can save him. Established Ironfrost, read "The Bargain" first.





	1. First Installment

****ATTENTION, ATTENTION:** ** **This is Part II. Don't read it if you haven't read Part I, "The Bargain". I will not recap, and this story won't make much sense if you haven't read Part I.**

 **A/N:** **E** **stablished relationship, IRONFROST (don't like it, don't fucking read it).** **For all of you who have journeyed with me this far, I hope you enjoy the continuation! Feel free to ask me for content; you’re all my inspiration and I love to weave in requests when possible. The first 18 chapters of this story are already written, but there will be more to come.**

* * *

****First Installment: The Beginning of a Journey** **

When Tony stepped through the gate, he wasn't sure what to expect, but walking into a forest clearing didn’t make the top twenty. Blinking, he looked around and wondered if he was still dreaming. Everything he saw looked like something out of a book or movie. Nestled to the farthest right in a tangled bed of roots sat a shimmering pond, surrounded by flowers of every hue. Weeping willows dropped blossom-laden bows into the water. Smack in the center of the clearing stood a tiny cabin, complete with a little porch. There were bundles of dried herbs hanging off the porch railing and a single chair. It looked like the perfect place for a witch to dwell.

And there, sitting on the porch's chair, was Loki. Though too pale, the first thing Tony noticed were the god’s eyes. They were gloriously, wickedly _green_ again. Tony’s body lurched forward without his permission, and he sprinted across the grass to the porch. Loki was wearing exactly what he'd been wearing in Tony's bedroom, and it showed he was still a little too thin. But after five months of Loki being dead, all the brunette cared about was getting his lover back into his arms.

A smirk crossed Loki's beautiful face as he waited for Tony to come to him. He didn't even bother rising, he just let Tony sweep him up out of the chair, and the Ironman did so with alacrity. He crushed Loki to him, burying his face in ebony hair and breathing in as deeply as he possibly could. A tingle ran up the length of his spine when slender arms slid around his waist, but Loki made a soft sound of definite protest.

"I am not yet healed, Stark."

Tony immediately relaxed his hold, but he didn't let go. "What? But it's been five months."

“You'd think that would be enough time, wouldn't you?" Loki mused, gently pushing at Tony’s hands until the man released him. He turned and headed into his little cabin, throwing a glance over his shoulder and beckoning Tony to follow him with a nod.

The Ironman looked around with curiosity. The front room was sitting room and kitchen combined, though there were no amenities that Tony could see. No sink, no indoor plumbing, just a few roughly hewn tables and counters. The fireplace was well-functional, an amber blaze crackling behind a metal grate. It all looked cozy and domestic, but Tony focused on his lover.

"Loki, what happened to you?"

Loki stopped in front of the fire, staring down at it with an absent expression. "I'd rather not talk about it."

"You must’ve brought me here because you want to be with me," Tony said, trying not to sound irritated. _I’m_ _over the moon_ _he’s still_ _alive, after all_. "I think I deserve to know.” He shook his head. “I _need_ to know.”

The glare Loki gave him was so mild it barely qualified as a glare, and it subsided quickly. "Very well." He started unlacing his leather tunic. "When I destroyed the last gateway, two things happened. First, the Aether had entered my body, so she quickly found a safe place for us. Second, the open link I had with Yggdrasil was finally cut off." He slid the tunic off over his head. "But that was far from everything I needed to heal. My own seiðr had already been drained from my body. Then there was the matter of the wounds Thanos inflicted on me to better channel Yggdrasil’s energy. Not to mention the crystal rod." A wry smile flickered across his face.

Tony watched with rapt attention as Loki removed his shirt, unable to contain a startled gasp. The open gashes were all healed, as was the gaping wound from the crystal rod. Nary a mark remained. However, thick lines of gold were still visible all over Loki's torso and arms, exactly where the ragged wounds had been. Unable to control the impulse, Tony reached out and touched. He could feel no scar tissue, but it looked like there were still rivers of Yggdrasil running beneath pale skin.

"What the hell?" he muttered. "I thought you just said the link was severed."

Loki sighed faintly. "I said the _open_ link had been severed. What you see now is just a small part of Yggdrasil. Rather like how I had separated part of the Aether from the rest, part of Yggdrasil's vast energy is trapped inside me. It is just energy now, the intelligence and knowing if Yggdrasil is gone from my mind. But while I was able to purge Thanos' seiðr from my body, I haven't been able to regenerate my own. Aether has helped as much as she could, but it’s not enough."

"Is the Aether still inside you?" Tony asked, feeling an up-welling of emotion he couldn't quite define.

"Of course not," Loki said with a strange look.

"Did you find another crystal for her?"

"No," Loki replied, lowering himself into one of the chairs by the fire. "She's around somewhere. She has taken an interest in herbs and woodworking. All the furniture you see, she made. She also gathered all the dried herbs. She likes experimenting with tea and spices.”

Just as Tony was about to ask how a molten river of energy could do all this, the cabin door opened. Through walked the last thing Tony expected: a girl. She looked to be only seven or eight with hair a silver platinum with the faintest hint of ice blue. Like a frozen, arctic frost. Her skin had a golden cast to it, she was quite thin, and her eyes . . .

Her eyes were molten red and black. __Holy shit__ _,_ was the first thing that crossed Tony's mind. "Aether?"

Thin lips immediately curved up into a smile, and though they didn't move, he clearly heard, __"_ Tony."_

"As you can see," Loki said, sounding amused, "she has taken a somewhat more functional form."

The little-girl-Aether set her handful of flowers on the kitchen table and went to Loki's side, taking his hand in both hers. _"Bringing him here,"_ she said in that mind-voice, __"_ did it tire you? You are still so far from well."_

He lifted her hands and kissed both of them. "It tired me, but not overmuch. Would you mind hunting for us, dearest? I'm certain Stark would like more than the vegetables you grow in your beautiful little garden."

"I am more carnivore than herbivore," Tony said, flashing her a grin. And wondering why he wasn't freaked out by the Aether having a body. One that seemed perfectly able to just wander around freely. She trotted out, and he had the absurd thought she looked cute her little green smock, belted at the waist in a wide black ribbon.

 _Well, whatever_. His life had been in turmoil since that fateful day Thor showed up, asking the Avengers to shelter a lost Nordic god of chaos. _The Avengers_. He felt a pang. Perching on the chair opposite Loki, he leaned forward and braced his elbows on his knees. "So, when are you planning to go back?" He tried to sound casual.

Loki didn't look at him. "Back to where?"

Tony resisted the urge to poke Loki’s forehead. "Asgard, idiot."

No reaction to being called an idiot. "I'm not planning to go back. I thought I made that plain."

"You did. I thought you were lying."

"Why would I lie?"

"You always lie."

"I wasn't lying. I’ve no intention to return."

"Why not?" Tony demanded, trying to decide if the idea made him angry. He had agreed to come thinking he would never go back, but in the far corners of his mind he'd thought he could talk Loki into it someday.

"I've no wish to resurrect a life long dead."

Tony snorted in sudden amusement. "Funny thing for you to say after you spent almost an entire month on a dangerous-as-fuck quest to protect Earth from the worst danger its ever known, gained the trust of every single Avenger, most of Nidavellir, and the king of Alfheim, _and_ brought back the queen of Asgard. It's like you were laying down building blocks for a new life, and then you just sweep it all into the fire. Why?"

"Must I have a reason?"

"Considering you never do a damn thing without a bloody good reason," Tony grumbled, "yes. I _know_ you do, and I want to hear it."

To this, he received no response. Several moments of heavy silence fell. It struck Tony as odd. _He’s acting strange. I’ve seen him all sorts of things from amused to pissed to ready to kill. I’ve never seen him this . . . cold. It’s almost like he doesn’t care about anything anymore._ It made him feel like his lover was carved from marble and ice, not a flesh-and-blood person seated close enough to reach out and touch.

"I love you," Tony said quietly, because he felt it absolutely _had_ to be said just then. When that garnered no response either, he rose from his chair and leaned down to press his lips to the top of Loki's head. "I'm going to see if the Aether needs any help."

"Just Aether."

"What?" Tony asked, pausing on the threshold.

"Not _the_ Aether. Just Aether."

"Right."

Once outside, Tony closed the door and tried to take stock. To say this wasn’t what he’d been expecting was the most absurd understatement imaginable. His musings didn’t get very far; the little-girl-Aether was standing at the base of the small porch. Her red-black eyes watched him closely, and she beckoned him to follow as she trotted toward the forest on the other side of the pond.

 _"I know it's probably not what you expected,"_ she said, _"seeing him."_

"He's different," Tony said, offering her his hand without thinking.

She took it, skipping at his side exactly like the little girl she appeared to be. _"He is unwell. More than unwell. He was damaged by that Mad Titan."_

"Damaged?" Tony said with a frown. "He isn't a tool or a toy, Aether."

 _"No, but he was damaged,”_ she repeated _ _. “_ He cannot regenerate his own seiðr because of that gold energy poisoning him. Until just a few weeks ago, he was too weak to even walk."_

"What!"

_"Yes. There's something wrong with him, Anthony. Something I haven't been able to fix. That's why I pleaded with him to bring you here."_

"Just Tony," he corrected absently, feeling a pain in his chest. " _You_ had to get him to bring me here?"

She stopped, pulling on his hand to get him to meet those not-little-girl eyes. _"Yes, but not because he didn’t want it. He doesn't want you to pity him. But I knew you could help him."_

A plethora of emotions, tangled and complicated, flooded Tony's heart. "What can I do? I'm just a damn human. I don't know anything about magic."

 _"You've helped him a lot already,"_ she argued at once, tugging at his hand to make him resume walking. _"He was smiling for the first time when you embraced him. He loves you, and he needs what only you can give."_

Despite her words, Tony felt worse than useless. Whether Loki loved him or not was still a mystery, and he couldn't imagine a single thing Loki could _n_ _ _eed__ from him.

Aether released Tony's hand and sank to her knees, carefully starting to pluck some dark purple flowers. _"Don't doubt. You're Tony Stark. Billionaire, playboy, philanthropist."_ She flashed him a cute little smirk.

Tony started laughing. "You know, I’m having a hard time reconciling what I see right now with what I know about you. And what I’ve done with you. What we did with Loki. Or, to him, I guess.” _Wow. This is probably the weirdest fucking thing I’ve ever experienced._ He surreptitiously pinched himself to check he wasn’t having some bizarre dream.

Her smirk widened into a toothy grin. _"I will never forget it. Because of you, I've experienced all of him. I love him, Tony. I love him to infinity. You will help him, won't you?"_

The self-doubt and angst slowly swirled away in the face of those red-black eyes, so ancient and yet so oddly innocent and young. "Yeah. I sure will, princess." He winked.

Her face gave the impression of laughter, though her throat still issued no sound. _"That's what you call Loki."_

"I'll just have to upgrade him to goddess."

The mirth stayed on her face as she continued to pick her herbs.

* * *

Well, it's the start of another journey. Sit back and enjoy the ride.


	2. Second Installment

  


* * *

****Second Installment: Damaged** **

For five months now, this tiny cabin in the clearing had been Loki's home. The first thing the Aether did when they arrived on this world was take a permanent form. How she'd done that Loki would never impart to Stark; he suspected the human would protest. Upon taking a functional form with hands, the second thing she’d done was build shelter.

The third thing she’d done was attempt to heal Loki. It was something her power was never meant to do. She was a force of destruction. Unmaking, not remaking. Even so, she had helped a great deal by extracting Thanos' seiðr from Loki's dying body. She'd built them a shelter, built nice little furniture, started a nice little garden, and hunted for meat now and then.

_My life’s become so terribly fucking domestic._

Grimacing, Loki mentally chided himself for even thinking in Midgardian slang. He idly stared out the back window at the Aether’s little plot of land. She’d planted peppers, beets, carrots, peas, and berries. He’d asked her once why she spent so much time tending it, and her answer still made him smile.

“ _It’s just so wonderful that I can.”_

Pain lanced through the base of Loki’s skull. He couldn’t help wincing, and he wished Stark wasn’t here. Even before the thought fully formed, he closed his eyes and banished it. There wasn't much he wanted more than to have his human lover with him. __Just not like this.__ The Aether had pushed and pushed for him to bring Stark here as soon as he was strong enough to walk, and Loki had resisted until just this day. Seeing Stark was sweet and painful. Sweet because he enjoyed Stark's company.

Painful because . . .

He almost jumped when the door opened and Stark strolled back in. He had a bright purple flower tucked behind one ear, and Loki smiled in spite of himself. "How becoming."

Stark just chuckled. "Aether put it there. It's beyond weird, seeing her as a little girl."

"Her new form has been useful," Loki mused, shuffling back to the fire. And leaning against the stone hearth.

"So I imagine," Stark said, sitting in the chair opposite again. "Loki -"

"Don't," Loki immediately cut him off. "Not . . . not now." __Not yet.__

"How do you know what I was going to say?" Stark demanded, sounding irritated.

"I always know what you're going to say. You humans broadcast your intentions like a transmitter tower broadcasts radio waves.”

Stark made a vexed sound. "Fine, I won't ask you about it yet. But I will, Loki. And don't think you can keep me at bay forever."

"I know," Loki said quietly, mostly to himself.

"Tell me one thing." Not a request.

"Just the one?"

"For now."

"Very well."

"Do you really want me here?"

Blinking, Loki lifted his eyes to meet Stark’s dark brown. Like rich chocolate, those eyes. Warm, open, inviting. For several seconds, the raven couldn't speak, wrestling with emotions he didn't want to feel. Then, just as Stark started to look hurt, Loki closed his eyes and turned his head away.

"Yes." Little more than a whisper. A breath riding an intention. He heard Stark get up, then the man knelt in front of him. Warm hands landed on his thighs.

"Let me make love to you."

That startled a soft snort of amusement from Loki's throat as he looked down at Stark, who had knelt in front of his chair. "Alas for your libido, my body isn’t up to that just yet." He lightly cupped Stark's chin in his fingers. "As soon as I’m strong enough, I'm all yours."

Stark grabbed his hand and kissed each one of his fingers. "I can't figure you out right now. You're being so sweet, but you're also being cold. Won't you tell me what's wrong? I want to help."

Loki pulled his hand free. "There’s nothing you can do." Then, because that wasn't true, "Just being here is helping a little, though."

"Only a little?" Stark demanded with a ridiculously wounded expression.

Loki smirked. "All right, more than a little."

"That's better," Stark said, leaning up to fuse their mouths together.

After a split second of hesitation, Loki relaxed and allowed it. He even opened his mouth before Stark's tongue started demanding entrance. Stark never _asked_ _f_ or it, he always demanded it. One of many things that made it difficult for Loki to resist this man. At Stark's insistence, he opened his mouth wider, and Stark's tongue delved deeper, tangling around his own. A soft intake of breath when Stark's teeth nipped at his tongue and lower lip. It went on until Loki felt lightheaded, then he finally broke the kiss and turned his head to the side.

Stark nibbled along his jaw. "I love you, you know."

"Yes, you overly sentimental fool. You've made that inescapably clear." But he was smiling and couldn't help it.

When Stark saw it, he smiled too. "But I'm your fool."

Reaching down, Loki ran his fingers through Stark's dark brown hair. "Since I can't seem to get rid of you, I suppose that does make you mine."

Oh, the look on his face. Worse than any saccharine expression he'd seen on Thor's (or anyone’s) face. For his words he received another kiss, this one with more teeth than the first, more eating. He tolerated the rudeness of it until he ran out of breath, then he bit Stark's bottom lip. The man chuckled as he pulled away, countenance anything but contrite.

"Sorry, babe. But I can't help myself. I haven't seen you in six months."

Loki eased himself out of the chair. "It's been just barely over five," he corrected with a smirk. "And now that you're here, I've thought of a use for you."

"Oh good," Stark said, getting to his feet with liquid, noticeable ease. "I wouldn't want to be useless."

"No," Loki said, smiling to himself as he headed for the small kitchen and opened a small box full of herbs. When steeped, they brewed a wonderful, aromatic tea. "You really wouldn't."

Arms snaked around his waist and a chin landed on his shoulder. "Got anything stronger than that?"

"No," Loki said again, "but I'm certain after a quick lesson, Aether could brew you a little something. She learns very, very quickly."

"Are you assuming I know how to make moonshine?"

"No, Anthony, I'm not assuming."

Stark chuckled. "All right, all right. I'll teach our little girl a thing or two."

Loki's hands paused as he looked at the man. "Our little girl?"

The man grinned. "Always thought I wanted to have a kid or two someday. Just didn't quite see it happening like this.”

Snorting, Loki went back to his tea. "I'm a little surprised you're so easily accepting it."

"What? Her new form?"

"Partially. But you realize she's free, don't you? Before, she was bound in a crystal. Now she's free. All of her. I cannot control her actions."

Stark frowned. "What are you saying?"

Smiling, Loki pressed a light kiss to his jaw. "Aether is hardly a little girl."

The man released him, but he didn't move more than a step to the side. "So, we have the most destructive force in all the Nine Realms just . . . wandering free?"

"Essentially," Loki replied, in a sudden good humor to hear the anxiety and exasperation in Stark's voice. "By the way, you will not endear yourself to me with your absurd Midgardian nicknames."

Though Stark was obviously thrown by the abrupt topic change, he recovered with a smirk. "What? Don't like me calling you __babe__?" He leaned over to nuzzle Loki's ear.

"No," Loki replied, moving a few centimeters to place himself just out of reach and giving Stark a look of warning, "I do not."

That received no acknowledgment of understanding, but then again, why was he bothering? This time when Stark tried to kiss him, he denied the man.

Then Stark threw him with an unexpected question. "Is Thanos dead?"

Loki’s body tensed minutely. For a second, he considered lying. There was no benefit in lying, so he sighed and answered with truth. "I don't know, but I doubt it."

Warm, surprisingly strong hands closed around his upper arms and squeezed with enough force Loki winced. "Will he come after you?"

"I doubt it," Loki said again, grateful for the grounding touch even if it hurt. "He has no way of knowing I’m still alive. Aether has been watching for him, but I don't believe he would seek vengeance."

Stark pressed himself to Loki's back, making a rueful sound. "Can't believe he's still alive. After all that, he didn't fucking die."

Loki felt like his skin turned to ice. "I was still protecting him."

A startled silence. "What?"

He twisted in Stark's arms, suddenly desperate to be free. To be alone. "I thought you went to help Aether," he snapped.

For once, the clingy human let go and moved away. "Yeah," he said softly after a moment. "Yeah, I was." He turned as if to go. Then, "I'm sorry, Loki."

The compassion, the sympathy ( _pity_ ) in his rich brown eyes made Loki feel ill. "Don't be," he spat, turning his back to the man.

After another handful of silent seconds, Stark finally left. Loki braced his hands on the wood counter top. It had taken the Aether hours and hours of work to smooth it down to her liking. His eyes squeezed shut.

__This is why I didn't want you here. You ask questions. She does not.__ Most of the time, he and the Aether never spoke, content with the silence. But not Stark. No. He was a damn human, and humans liked to discuss things. Work through them with their voices.

That was the absolute _last_ thing Loki wanted. He never wanted to think about what had happened in Midgard again.

  



	3. Third Installment

****Third Installment: Best Left Unsaid** **

"Have you thought about naming yourself?"

She looked up from her careful picking of the bell-shaped flowers that grew up the trunks of trees. __"_ Naming myself?" _she repeated, both surprised and confused. __"_ I'm the Aether. That is my name."_

"Nope. That's what you are. I'm a human, you're the Aether."

Tony Stark was such a strange, unpredictable, wonderful man. She genuinely loved him. She loved him because he loved Loki, and precious little made her beloved happy. He hadn't smiled even once until Stark came to this forest. To their cabin. To their lives. Hopefully to stay, this time. She shrugged, carefully clipping leaves and blossoms off the vine.

_"I've never thought about it. I always had too much to do."_

"Well, I'm here now, princess. That means you've got more time. So. What d'you want me to call you?"

Frowning, she concentrated. It’d never occurred to her to even consider a name. __"_ I don't know. What would you name me?"_

He pursed his lips. "That's a good question. Tell you what, let's both think on it, hm?"

She beamed him a grin. _"Okay!"_

He snorted softly, leaning down and brushing her face with callused fingers. The fingers of a craftsman. An inventor. A warrior. "That's a good girl. Now, tell me what I can do."

Looking around, she took a quick inventory of her immediate needs. __"_ You could gather wood for kindling. If we're having meat, I need to build a fire in the pit by the pond. We don't cook meat in the cabin. Loki doesn't like the smell." _She did like it. She loved all smells, because it was so maddeningly wonderful to be able to smell.

There was only one smell in all existence she didn't like. A copper-bight smell of crimson.

"All right-y then. Don't wander off too far now, princess."

She laughed silently. _"I'm ever so much older than you, Tony. I'm older than your entire world."_

He tapped her right on the nose. "I only see a little girl. Now do as I say."

Still laughing, she went back to gathering the bell-shaped flowers. They were a surprisingly rich orange in color. Their thick nectar, when crushed up with the flowers, made a sticky balm that soothed Loki's pain.

"Aether," Tony said after a moment, holding a few thick twigs, "what's it been like for you and him?"

Nibbling at her lower lip, her brow furrowed in thought. __"_ It's been easy for me. I don't need food, water, sleep, air, or shelter. I don't have any physical needs, so I could be fine anywhere. Top of a mountain, bottom of an ocean."_

There was a hesitation. "And for Loki?"

Her hands fell still into her lap. _"Much harder, _"__ she admitted. __"_ He couldn't even move. When I extracted Mad Titan's seiðr from his body, he would scream and scream until his voice died and his throat bled."_ She closed her eyes. __"_ There were times when his heart stopped. His lungs went silent. At one point, I had to breathe for him. For days."_

Tony's silence was heavy. When she turned to look up at him, he was staring across the forest with peculiarly vacant eyes. Then he swallowed thickly. "What do you mean by that?"

She picked another flower, each movement slow and deliberate. __"_ I poured energy into him that made his lungs imitate the action of breathing so oxygen would continue to circulate through his blood and brain. But it was unnatural, so even that hurt him." _She was not accustomed to feeling pain or grief, but she relished them.

Because despite how horrible it had been, she had prevailed. She'd saved him. He was wounded, damaged, but Tony was here now. He could help her.

"Tell me more," Tony commanded softly, still not looking at her. "Tell me what Thanos did to him."

She shook her head. __"_ I don't know. Loki blocked all of that from me. From the moment he truly regained consciousness, he sealed it tightly away."_

Tony made a vexed sound. "What happened after you got that asshole's seiðr out of Loki?"

Her thoughts wandered back to that time. __"_ I had hoped he would start to recover his own. But that golden energy inside him . . . I could not purge it. It doesn't belong inside him, but it won't leave. It is poisoning him."_

"Why is that so bad?" Tony asked. "I mean, isn’t it all magic? Why does it matter?"

She gave him a pointed look. _“Does a worm’s blood belong in your body?”_

"No," he said with a slightly rueful smile. Then, "But he can still use magic. He brought me here, right?"

She shrugged one shoulder. _"Only a very little. And he doesn't say so, but I know it causes him pain when he does. It hurts him to channel that gold energy."_ She felt the heat of her anger burn black in her eyes. __"_ I hate it. I would destroy it if I could. I would tear it out of him and crush it between my hands until it screamed and writhed and died!"_

o0o

Only sheer force of will kept Tony from recoiling as the Aether’s eyes went black. No more whites, irises, or pupils. Just liquid black, a glowing light that reflected none back. _Okay, best to remember she really ain't a little girl._ "I'd help," he muttered.

The black settled as she flashed him a grin best described as cheeky. __"_ I'd let you."_

He snorted. "What do you mean when you say he's damaged?"

She shook her head. __"_ Inside. He's . . . damaged."_

"How?" he pressed.

She gave him a look best described as helpless. __"_ It's as if . . . as if something's missing. Mad Titan damaged him. More than his body. His mind. What used to make him . . . himself. It's damaged." _She spread her hands and shrugged, looking for all the world like a lost child.

Tony remembered something Thor had said. Months ago. Something Hel had told him. That Loki may never use magic again. He felt a shudder run up his spine and wondered if that was the reason his lover couldn't regenerate his . . . Seiðr. The word felt as foreign in his mind as on his tongue.

"Tell me more."

She idly rubbed her hands on her smock. __"_ After I extracted Mad Titan's filth, I removed the crystal rod. The wound didn't heal for a month. And the other wounds on his body, it took them even longer to heal. I built that cabin during the times Loki wasn't delirious or entire body writhing in pa—"_

"Aether."

Tony jumped to hear Loki's voice. Aether did not, her eyes swirling again more black than red, though it was different than her fury. She looked . . .

Sad.

"I asked you to hunt for us." His voice wasn't harsh, but it was frozen. Slivers of ice, carving softly into flesh. Quietly. Unnoticed until the blood began to ooze.

"Loki—" Tony began.

Loki silenced him with a look, eyes glacial.

Aether stood up, leaving her basket of flowers where it was. __"_ I'll be right back," _she said, glancing pointedly at Tony's hands. __"_ I'll need more wood than that."_ In moments, she had disappeared into the dense foliage of the forest.

Tony turned to face Loki. "Don't be mad at her."

"I'm not."

"And don't be mad at me," Tony said, trying not to sound defensive.

Loki met his eyes, gaze even and betraying nothing. "I should refrain from being angry when you pry from another information you did not receive from me?"

Tony grimaced inwardly. _This is why I_ _was hoping you never found out._ "I didn't pry. We want to help you."

The god held this tableau for long, painful seconds. The more time passed, the more Tony found himself wishing Loki __would__ get mad. That he'd snap or threaten bodily harm. That his eyes would burn with the heat of his rage. That he'd look torn between forgiveness and homicide. Any of that, all of that would be better than this. This expression. Those glassy, empty eyes. That frozen, closed face. The posture that wasn't rigid with anger nor relaxed with the promise of approaching good humor.

This was . . .

_This was . . ._

Nothing.

Finally, with an abruptness that left Tony feeling slightly sucker-punched, Loki turned away and walked toward the cabin. "She's right," he said. "You will need more wood than that."

Tony almost threw the sticks down on the ground and ran after Loki. He wanted to crush his lover to him, to kiss his frozen mouth until it melted, until Loki was putty in his hands, moaning. Something warned him to stay away from the green-eyed god. Closing his eyes for a second, he swallowed thickly.

Where was his Loki? The charmingly demented god who'd thrown him out of a window? The sarcastic and arrogant god who considered humans so beneath him but tolerated Tony with a wicked smile? The one whose voice was silky and sexy as fucking hell and dangerous as a natural disaster capable of destroying a whole fucking planet? Where was the anger, the pride, the evil smirk, the smug superiority?

_He's damaged._ Aether's words ran around and around in his head. _What did that fucking asshole do to you?_

**o0o**

The Aether came back before Stark did, an enormous deer flung over her shoulder. The sight was comical, for her body was that of an eight-year-old child. The carcass probably outweighed her by one hundred pounds or more, and she carried it as though it had all the mass of a dead sparrow. Her eyes sought him at once, finding him sitting near the pond with his legs crossed.

He smiled as she neared. "Keep the hide in one piece," he said gently. "I think we'll need another blanket or two for our human visitor."

The Aether seemed unhappy at his words, and after a moment he realized what must have troubled her. _Visitor_. He'd said it without thinking. Without contemplation, he'd relegated the human to visitor, as though he were not staying permanently. _Is that what I unconsciously desire?_ After a second, he set the quandary aside for thought later. At the moment, he didn't have the strength to send Stark anywhere, let alone to a sealed place like the Nine Realms.

_"Are you not allowing him to stay with us?"_ the Aether asked the question.

Propping an elbow on his knee, Loki closed his eyes and rubbed his temple. "I don't know, dearest. We'll talk about it later."

Small arms wrapped around his neck, cradling his head against a child's body. __"_ You're tired," _she said, _"and weakened by reopening the gate. We don't need to decide anything right now."_

A plea to leave things as they were. He sighed and wrapped one arm around her in a brief embrace. "You ought to start preparing that animal."

The Aether was halfway through butchering her kill when Stark reappeared, carrying a pile of wood cleverly stacked to keep its shape in his arms. Like the Aether, his eyes immediately sought Loki. Though his pace was measured and his expression casual, Loki could see what the man tried to keep out of his eyes. Sadness. Sympathy. Pain for the one he loved and could not help.

It was the absolute _last_ thing Loki wanted to have directed at him. He felt helpless rage bubble up inside him. That idle pity only reminded the god of his own crippled, damaged state. His complete and utter inability to heal himself. Yes, there was still magic in his veins. Strong, powerful magic. But it was not __his__ , so it caused him terrible pain to use it and left him weak.

_If I put his eyes out, would I no longer have to suffer seeing his pity?_ It was a passing thought on the heels of a surprisingly strong compulsion to do just that. But it faded quickly. Stark would still _feel_ the pity, so it would accomplish nothing.

He tried to think, _I don't want you here _,__ but his body leaned toward Stark when the human set his bundle down and sat beside Loki. The movement was so obvious it prompted Stark to wrap an around around his shoulders and position himself so Loki could rest fully against his chest. He buried his nose in Loki's hair.

"Do you forgive me?" he whispered.

In spite of himself, Loki snorted softly. "No."

There was no conviction in his voice. He turned his face into Stark's neck and softly inhaled the man’s scent. It was mild but masculine, a warm undertone beneath the pine-scented soap he used. Pleasant. Soothing. He sucked in a faint breath at the love pouring off Stark in palpable waves. This idiot wanted so desperately to help the one he loved.

Truly, no one had ever so effectively disarmed the god of mischief. He closed his eyes, feeling helpless in the face of such naked emotion.

_"I hope you like venison, Tony,"_ the Aether piped up.

"You betcha, princess," Stark replied. "You need any help with that?"

"You know how to butcher animals for consumption?" Loki murmured.

The arm around his shoulder squeezed as if in warning. "Of course I do. Whaddaya think I am, some sort of helpless rich guy's kid who can't even dress himself?"

"You can't," Loki said, smiling in genuine mirth. "Your AI always dresses you."

"Hey, Jarvis only puts my Iron Man suits on. Everything else, all me.”

_"I don't need help,"_ the Aether said. __"_ You should just stay where you are."_

As soon as she said it, Loki felt irritation flare. He forced it to subside. He would not allow his emotions to run rampant all over the place.

But Stark surprised him, "Nah, I can't do nothing while a little kid works. Too much of a gentleman."

Loki straightened to allow Stark to move to her side. When the Aether handed him a knife, he wielded it with skill and competence.

"This is a pretty nice spot," the man said, idly looking around. "Where do you get your water from?"

_"There's a stream,"_ the Aether said, pointing west, __"_ that runs right down out of the mountains. I get it from there."_

"Hm. And you just eat vegetables from your garden most times?"

_"That and eggs. There are these wild birds, I harvest their unfertilized eggs. Loki calls them grouse."_

"They are every bit as edible as the domesticated chickens humans raise," Loki commented, watching with half-lidded eyes.

_"And I hunt every now and then,"_ the Aether continued, beaming Loki a smile, _"but not often. Loki doesn't like meat much."_

"What?" Stark exclaimed, giving him a wide-eyed look of incredulity. "You're from Asgard. I thought all Asgardian warriors loved meat!"

Loki smirked faintly at his lover. "The operative word in that sentence was _warrior_. I am a mage."

"Oh come on," Stark said with a little frown. "You're one of the most badass warriors I’ve ever met. You just fight with magic, not swords."

For some reason, those words poured down into Loki's soul like balm. His smile was mellow and . . . "You needn't preface your statement with _one of the most_ , Anthony."

And Stark's answering grin was just a little bit wicked. "You're right. _The_ most badass. Period."

Loki chuckled softly, picking up the clay tea mug he'd set aside earlier. The liquid's flavor was dark and bitter, but it helped with the pain.

The two of them continued with easy, comfortable dialogue. While they included Loki with their body language, neither spoke to him directly but seldom. A peace he had not felt since coming here pervaded Loki's being. This was what he needed. A quiet atmosphere where they both went about things normally.

Perhaps bringing Stark here would work, after all.

**o0o**

By sundown, Tony had enjoyed a tasty meal and had a deer hide on its way to tanning. Some of the shock of all this had settled, and he realized how exhausted he was. Aether was the first to stir. Rising, she moved to Loki's side and hugged him.

_"I'll be back in the morning with more water,"_ she said. With a grin to Tony, _"Good night. I'm glad you're here."_

He returned her smile. "Me too, princess."

When she was gone, Tony watched Loki in silence for long moments. His lover hadn't said a word in probably over an hour, but he looked relatively peaceful. And very, very tired. Clapping his hands on his thighs, he pushed himself upright.

"Dunno about you, but I'm beat."

Loki glanced up at him, eyes mellow. "The bed isn't large," he said, voice quiet and content-sounding, "but there's plenty of room for you on the floor."

Chuckling, Tony grabbed Loki's arms and gently hauled him up. "Like hell. I'm gonna sleep wrapped around you, babe."

Loki's lips twitched in obvious displeasure, but he said nothing about the endearment. The bedroom was a tiny affair with a bed. An actual mattress on a wooden frame. Raising an eyebrow in surprise, Tony decided to ask Aether tomorrow where she’d gotten it. Right now, he wanted sleep. He pulled his shirt off, kicked off his boots, and flopped down. He made sure to take up a lot of room, so Loki would have no choice but to curl up to him.

With nothing more than a look of what Tony could best describe as annoyed amusement, Loki toed off his own boots and removed the beautiful leather tunic. He didn't take off his shirt, though. With deliberate movements, he climbed over Tony to lay down between him and the wall. He let his head come to rest on Tony's shoulder, draping an arm across his waist.

His fingers trailed over Tony's chest. "I have your Arc reactor, still. Would you be able to use it as a power source for other technology?"

Tony blinked. "You still have it? How the hell? I thought it was back home somewhere!"

"It was and still is in my Astral pocket," Loki explained in patient tones.

"But . . ."

The god let out a soft chuckle. "I thought I explained it wasn't a _place_. I can access it from anywhere. Anywhere at all."

"Fuck. I'm not even going to pretend I understand. Okay. Sure, I could use it for a power source for just about anything. Why'd you keep it?"

A pause. "I'm not sure. It seemed wrong to discard something so . . . ingenious."

Tony kissed his forehead. "You bet your sweet ass it would have been wrong. Probably my best invention. Ever."

"Hm," Loki hummed. "We'll talk more about it in the morning."

"Sounds good," Tony murmured, already dozing off. He shifted just a little to pull Loki more fully into his arms.

And for the first time in five months, he fell into peaceful sleep.


	4. Fourth Installment

****Fourth Installment: The City** **

Never let it be said that Tony Stark wasn't smart. He was the smartest human he knew, and in all the Nine Realms he'd only met one person he considered smarter than himself. There were a few people he thought might be _as_ clever as himself, but not _more_.

So when he woke in the morning, his mind immediately did what it always did when he fell asleep with a problem: started working.

His half-asleep mind took stock of the things he now knew. One. He could tell by Loki's body language all yesterday his lover wasn't completely sure how to feel about having Tony around. Two. Aether wanted him to stay. Three. Loki's ability to process and/or feel emotions seemed to have been damaged. Four. His body was far from recovered from his ordeal.

But most importantly, Loki had completely relaxed when Tony acted as though nothing at all was wrong.

_He needs me to be normal._ Showing concern or expressing worry had garnered only anger or Loki retreating behind walls of ice. The reactions didn't seem borne of pride. Tony wasn't fully sure yet, but he wondered if it helped Loki feel more like himself when attention wasn’t drawn to his deficiencies.

Finally, Tony opened his eyes and fully awoke. The cabin's surprisingly well-built ceiling greeted his eyes with earthen brown. Taking a deep breath, he felt surprising resistance. Weight on his chest. He immediately smiled. Loki had shifted in his sleep and was no longer lying beside Tony on the narrow-ish bed.

He was lying on top of Tony, his narrow hips wedged between Tony's thighs, sprawled belly-down on the human's chest. He could feel over his skin the buff of each warm breath Loki took, and a glance down showed him his lover was deeply asleep.

Deliberately, he took long and deep breaths just to feel Loki there. It was uncomfortable but blessedly welcome.

The tiny bedroom's door opened, and Aether walked in. _"Tony? Would you like eggs for breakfast?"_

Tony glanced pointedly downward, not wanting to disturb his sleeping lover.

She gave him a small grin. _"He won't wake. It really tires him to use magic."_

Though he felt a bolt of concern, Aether seemed unworried so Tony tried to relax. "Yeah. Eggs sound good. Thanks, princess."

She beamed him a smile as she left, and true to her word Loki didn't stir. Idly, Tony ran his hands up Loki's arms and thought about what his lover had said yesterday. _He thought of a use for me. I wonder what he meant by that. Whatever he wants me to do, I'll just have to make sure it takes a LONG time. That will give me plenty of opportunities to convince him he wants me to stay._

Tony Stark could be very, very persuasive.

**o0o**

_A blade would_ _be_ _better._

_The feel of a blade along flesh is painful, but it is natural. Skin and muscle being torn and causing a pain reaction in the brain, warning the body it needs to do something different to avoid more damage. Pain is comforting, in its way._

_This . . ._

_This is . . ._

_It has reached inside him. It has poured down his throat. Torn open his pores. Invaded his being through every part of him. Left him open. Ragged. Raw. He can't even scream, for it has robbed the very_ _air_ _from his lungs. He can only stare, wide and unseeing, as he is filled with fire worse than poison. It beats down his defenses. Leaves him completely vulnerable._

_It is INSIDE him. Inside him, in a place it has no business being, tearing into him, feeding off him, bleeding him dry. He can smell his own blood. Feel it seeping out of him. No, he thinks distantly. Very, very distantly. Not blood._

_Seiðr._

_You are mine. You are mine. Singing around and around in his head._

_He is choking on it. He cannot breathe._

_You are mine. You will obey me. "They are interfering. Destroy them, Loki."_

_Destroy them. Destroy them. Eyes the color of an Asgardian summer, and he is meant to destroy them._ _A command_ _his_ _very soul_ _protests._

_But his body obeys._

o0o

Tony felt a pulse of nauseating fear when Loki's entire body suddenly tensed up and started shaking wildly as if in seizure. Without thinking, he locked his arms and legs around his lover to hold him steady and put his mouth right by Loki's ear.

"Wake up, Loki," he whispered. "C'mon, babe. Show me those pretty green eyes. Wake up. Nothing bad's happening. It's just a dream. You're with me. C'mon, wake up."

As quick as it started, it abruptly stopped. Loki's skin went from much too warm to freezing cold in the blink of an eye, and the shaking stopped. The god made a quiet sound of definite irritation.

"Are you trying to smother me, Stark?"

Unable to help it, Tony chuckled and kissed his forehead. "What can I say? I'm a cuddly guy, and I haven't seen you in five months. Sue me if I want to snuggle my lover."

For a few seconds, Loki went very still. Perhaps trying to figure out why Tony wasn't mentioning the nightmare. Then he snorted quietly, slowly easing up. He looked pale and tired. Tony sat up, too.

"You got a shower or bath or something?" he asked, rising and stretching while throwing Loki a casual glance.

The god was watching him, something strange in his verdant eyes. Then he blinked and it was gone.

"No," Loki replied. "Aether brings water from the river, but she has no concept of how indoor plumbing works."

"Sponge bath it is. Want me to wash you, too?" He waggled his eyebrows, hoping to lighten the mood with gentle teasing.

Loki looked away, expression cold. "No. Go help Aether if you want to be useful."

Tony tried not to sigh. It would take some time to grow accustomed to these strange mood swings. Something was definitely wrong, this wasn't like his lover at all. _No matter how much time it takes, I will get to the bottom of this and find a way to help you._

"I love you," he said.

Like melting ice, the cold bled out of Loki's eyes and he rose. Half a step had him next to Tony, and he slid his arms around the human's waist, resting his head on the man's shoulder.

"So you've said. Sentimental fool."

Practically giddy, Tony wrapped his arms around him. "Hey, did I tell you Jane's pregnant?"

Silence for a moment. Then, "Is she? I'm sure her idiot husband is over the moon."

The affection in his voice made Tony grin. "Guess that means it's our turn next, huh?"

Loki pushed him away, but Tony's anxiety vanished when he saw the look on Loki's face. The god was smirking, looking torn between amusement and murder. _There he is,_ the thought flitted through Tony's head. _That's my Loki._

"What exactly do you mean by that, Stark? Surely you aren't suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"

Tony gave him a cheeky grin. "It just sorta slipped out. I wasn't suggesting anything. I might get castrated if I did."

The amusement definitely seemed to be winning over murder. "Yes . . . living out the rest of your days as a eunuch wouldn't diminish your quality of life."

"Like hell it wouldn't!" Tony protested. "To never want sex again? I don't even want to imagine what that would make me!"

Loki gave him the faintest grin before it faded and he sat on the edge of the bed. "See the chest in the corner? My Astral pocket's key is in it. Bring it to me, and I'll get you a change of clothes. What you're wearing isn't practical."

Considering Tony was only wearing jeans, he had to agree. Trotting to the chest, which was well made and quite beautiful, Tony opened it. It was filled with simple but elegant leather and linen clothing, and sitting right on top was that strange amulet-key thing. Scooping it up, Tony brought it to his lover.

Loki opened up thin air and extracted more clothing. Soft suede breeches. Knee-high boots of flexible, buffed leather. Linen shirts of several earthy colors. And dark brown and black leather tunics similar to the one Loki wore but slightly different styles.

Plenty happy to blend with the natives, Tony shucked his jeans.

Loki snorted. "No underwear, Stark?"

"I like to be ready," Tony said, unapologetic and unashamed. He winked. "For anything."

Loki rolled his eyes, and to Tony's surprise he laid back down. "I should have guessed."

Tony tried not to be disappointed that Loki didn't want to watch him be naked. The clothing was comfortable and fit perfectly. "Hey, don't fall asleep just yet. You said you'd thought of a use for me. I'm dying of curiosity."

"I hardly think so," Loki said, eyes closed. But he smiled softly. "We'll talk when you and Aether get back."

And that seemed to be that. Sighing, Tony moved to the bed and leaned down to steal a kiss. Delightfully, Loki allowed it.

Aether was right outside, sitting in the grass with a pile of leaves. She seemed to be trimming the edges off them, so Tony went to see what she was doing. She had a basket of eggs on one side of her and a basket of berries on the other. She grinned up at him.

_"You look good in that."_

"Why thank you, princess. Glad someone around here appreciates my sexiness."

Her grin widened. _"I've seen you naked."_

He snorted. "So you have more reason than most to appreciate it."

She laughed. It was still weird to hear nothing but know she was laughing all the same.

_"I've been thinking about a name for myself, and you're right. I don't want to be called Aether forever. I really like the name Skaði. What do you think?"_

"Skaði, huh? That sounds very Viking."

She giggled. _"It is. I think it suits me. Don't you?"_

It did. "Sure does, princess. How'd you pick it?"

_"Mm, it's hard to explain. I have some residual knowledge of old history from when I was inside Loki."_

"Well all right then, Skaði. You have any coffee around this dump?"

She laughed, tipping her head back in the process, which caused the wan morning sun to glint off her frost blue-white hair. _"It's not a dump! I worked very hard on it. I think it's cute!"_

"It's very cute. Coffee?"

_"No, no coffee. There is a city, that way."_ She pointed east. _"It's pretty big."_

"A city?" Tony repeated, perking up. "How far?"

_"Let's see. I think it's about . . . fifty leagues."_

Tony mentally calculated. _About_ _a_ _hundred and seventy miles_. "How big is this forest?"

_"Very big. To the west are the mountains, and it's a chain that goes on for over two-thousand leagues. The forest itself goes all the way to the ocean to the north. Loki told me there isn't a lot of civilization on this planet. I think most of it is mountain, ocean, and arctic wasteland. It's not nearly as hospitable as Midgard. It was part of the reason I chose it."_

"And I take it you and Loki have never been there?"

_"No. He's never been well enough to travel that far. We would either have to walk or he would have to use magic."_

"Well then, it's a good thing I brought my suit." A flight of one-hundred and seventy miles would take twenty minutes. "I think I should go check it out."

She sighed. _"I wish I could come with you. But I won't leave him, and I doubt he'd let you carry him."_ She giggled as if just the thought was funny.

Which it was. Tony wondered if he could convince his lover. "Whatcha doin' with those leaves, anyway?"

Lifting one by its stem, she pointed to tiny little prickles with her wooden shears. _"These nettles will cause a nasty reaction on skin. I'm cutting them off, because the leaves can be brewed into a fragrant tea which helps with pain."_

No more explanation was necessary, and Tony felt himself grimace. "I'm gonna go check out that city. You need anything before I go?"

_"You could build me a fire. In the hearth. There's wood inside. I'll cook us eggs."_

Tony did so, then went into the small bedroom. Loki was asleep again, sprawled gracefully over the bed. _He's so beautiful. So goddamn beautiful._ Sighing quietly, Tony leaned down and kissed both closed eyelids. Loki made a soft sound but didn't wake.

Grabbing his magicked suit amulet, Tony trotted back outside and put it over his neck. A second later he was wearing his suit.

"Take care of him, princess."

_"I will, Tony!"_ she called, waving as he took to the skies.

As soon as he cleared the canopy, Tony gazed around in open wonder. Skaði (not Aether, he told himself firmly) was right. The forest was absolutely enormous. Trees as far as the eye could see. Here and there he could spot narrow gashes in the green where the rivers must run, and it was quite beautiful. He could see small birds and butterflies everywhere, and in a few spots there were vast swathes of grayish gauze that could only be spider webs.

It was comforting to know that a world so far from Earth wasn't so very different from it.

Skaði was almost dead on with the distance. JARVIS informed him he'd traveled 50.3 leagues when he saw the city.

It definitely wasn't what he'd been expecting, though he wasn't quite sure what he was expecting. A medieval type city with stone walls and wood buildings and cobblestone streets and courtyards? The city below him looked like an enormous industrial hub, the buildings made of a shiny metal and the streets paved with something that appeared similar to concrete.

There were vehicles going up and down them, not powered by anything Tony recognized: big glowing orbs of sky blue. Probably some sort of energy carrier. They almost looked like carriages, the vehicles being towed by those orbs.

"JARVIS?" he inquired. "Any ideas on that power source?"

"Scanning sir," the AI said. "It appears to be pure energy, though I've never detected anything like it. It doesn't appear to be magic."

"Huh," Tony mused.

The men all wore nice slacks and shirts with lace and ruffled scarves, topped off with perfectly tailored vests. The women wore either dresses that reminded Tony of Victorian England or half-breeches with their own versions of lacy shirts and vests.

And most of them had some tiny little device over one ear that was obviously powered by the same glowing blue stuff as the vehicles. _Bet anything those are this world's version of a Bluetooth._ Curious and excited, Tony landed out of sight and put the suit away, tucking the amulet beneath his shirt. His clothing was a bit different from the people here, but not so much he should overtly stand out.

Stepping onto the streets, he immediately blended into the fast-moving crowds. No one gave him second glances for his clothing, but he did notice quite a few women give his face lingering looks. To them he winked, and most of them looked away with blushes and smiles.

_Yep, still got it._ The thought crossed his mind, _I wish I could make Loki blush._ It made him smirk. That'd be the day.

The shops all had nicely painted signs, but Tony couldn't read any of them. Further confounding him, he couldn't understand the language the people spoke. They looked perfectly human, near as he could tell, but they may as well have been speaking gibberish.

_Damn. I was hoping I'd be able to learn about the local currency._ Skaði's woodworking skills were useful, but there were some jobs that could only be done by metal. Still, he walked around and tried to get a feel for the layout of the place. The streets seemed to follow a basic grid, and it was easy enough to tell by what was in the shops what they sold. He frowned to himself.

_I wonder if Loki will be able to understand them? It's strange that everyone I met in the Nine Realms spoke English, but damn it was useful._ Deciding he had nothing to lose, he stopped a cute woman in a cream-colored blouse.

"Can you understand me?" he asked hopefully.

She blushed, looking quite flustered, and said something he didn't understand.

Trying not to feel disappointed, he let go of her arm. "Sorry, darlin'."

She giggled as she hurried off.

_Well, shit. A lot of these shops seem to have really useful stuff, and I'd_ love _to get my hands on one of those blue orb things._ He stepped out of sight and put his suit back on.

"JARVIS, scan all nearby signs with writing on them,” he ordered. “Maybe you’ll have the chance to write a translation program if Loki can provide a language key."

"Yes, sir," JARVIS said, "but the energy requirements would be quite high. Right now, I have enough power for basic functions and can run off that for at least two years. Performing any special feats would be draining."

"Great. Now I _really_ want one of those blue orbs."

"Based off the readings, I would deduce they are a form of power," JARVIS agreed.

"Thanks, Sherlock," Tony said, taking to the skies. "Scan everything."

"Yes, sir. Loki would still need to have some interfacing device so I could display the writings for him."

"He's the most clever, resourceful bastard I have ever met. Chances are he's got something in that handy little Astral pocket of his."

"Yes, sir. Commencing scans."

Tony flew over the city as slowly as JARVIS needed, not particularly concerned about being seen. It took about half an hour to record the writings of ten city blocks, then Tony decided he'd had enough for one day. Time to return to the place that didn't exactly feel like _home_ , but something startlingly close.


	5. Fifth Installment

**Fifth Installment: Usefulness**

Loki woke slowly, entire body feeling sluggish and unresponsive. It cried out for him to simply go back to sleep, but he resisted. There were things that needed doing, and most pressingly a conversation that needed to be had. Neither did he relish the idea of another nightmare. They were disorienting, and it took quite some time to remember he was no longer Thanos’ prisoner.

A faint and slightly rueful smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. _This morning was the first exception._ _Whether my mind agrees or not, Stark, my body is certainly comfortable around you._

Climbing off the bed, he shrugged out of his green linen shirt. Steeling himself, he looked down at his arms and torso. Seeing the evidence of what had been done to him jarred him to the core. The wounds had healed and there were no physical scars, but the lines of gold energy where the wounds had been still glowed beneath his skin like veins carrying radioactive blood.

If he looked too long, he almost felt panic. Then it was replaced by rage. And then it was all swept away by an exhaustion so profound he felt nothing at all. He pressed fingers that trembled a bit to his temples. Slowly, carefully, he tapped into the golden energy trapped inside him like he would his own seiðr. Its pale light misted around his hands, making his skin tingle with heat. It felt inexpressibly wrong, and as soon as he touched it, everything changed.

The solidity of the world vanishes into a tapestry of colors. Things are no longer separate from each other, just blending together in a nauseating whirl. The colors taste like heat, cold, earth, and loam. Sounds pour across his skin like needles. Knives, fingers of ice and lava.

Alive. He hopes that one is still alive. Because then he can kill him. Kill him and taste the red, hear the screams that cut like daggers and feel the breath of him dying.

And then maybe he will know peace. Maybe his helpless rage will finally have an outlet, he can purge the horrible, terrible memories from his mind and have a closure he doesn't remember needing.

But he does. He needs gold to vanish in a cascade of green. Green. Loki. Green. Loki.

_No. Stop._

With a ragged groan, Loki tossed his head back and squeezed his eyes shut and dragged his palms over his face. The gold mist dissipated, but the sound of his heart felt like poison. The smell of the air tasted like death.

_This is not what I fought for. I didn't survive the worst torture of my entire life to become this._

This pathetic, weak, damaged shell. Fragmented in places that weren't supposed to break. His breathing accelerated and his heart hurt him.

No. It was better not to feel. As suddenly as it had come, it all flowed out to be replaced by nothing. Refusing to look at his body again, he pulled on a tunic the Aether had made. The tawny deer hide, tanned perfectly, was soft to the touch. It fell to mid-thigh, belted at the waist in leather. It was sleeveless, but the feel of anything else would be unbearable.

He padded barefoot out of the little bedroom. Only a few things had not been perverted by Thanos' inventive torture, and one of them was his ability to sense any and all life around him. He could tell Stark was outside with the Aether. Crossing the wood floors, he opened the front door and moved across the porch, leaning against the railing.

Neither his lover nor his beloved failed to take notice of him, and the Aether broke into a bright smile. Truly, her new form was a miracle of the most incredible proportions. An essence of destruction, born out of nothingness, becoming sentient? With its own desires and goals? Taking a _form_?

Strictly speaking, he thought with an inward smile, Jane Foster was comparable to her father and Loki her mother. Jane had provided the spark, and the spark had grown inside Loki.

Her form was pleasing. Something about her face almost reminded him of the lovely Miss Foster. The shape and the color of her skin, just a little bit.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty," Stark said with his usual grin of lustful appreciation. "I've had a busy morning. Went to the city."

Loki raised an eyebrow. "The city? You have had a busy morning. You should have saved your suit's power."

Stark frowned a little. "Why d‘ya say that?"

Feeling his disturbing mood lightening, Loki gave him a patient look. "You couldn't read the signs or understand the language. Am I correct?"

"Well, no . . ."

"I could have told you that. So you should have saved your suit's power."

"Well, I didn't want to wake you to ask," Stark grumbled. "And besides, I got a good view of the city's layout. And I had JARVIS scan all the writings in a ten-block radius. Any chance you could magically translate the language for me?"

"Of course."

Stark blinked. "You didn't even look at it."

"I don't need to, Stark," Loki said, enjoying the feeling of surprising his lover. It never got old. "I can understand any language, written or spoken."

The human stared at him for several long moments. Then he shook his head and started chuckling. "Of course you can. Smug bastard. Skaði, don't be like your dad when you grow up."

The Aether gave him a peculiar look. _"If you want to assign parentage, Loki is technically my mother. But I love him far too much to see him that way. He is so much more."_ Her red-black eyes oriented on Loki, the heat of her emotions blazing in them. _"So much more."_

The smile that eased across Loki's lips was small but genuine. "I feel the same, dearest." A slight pause. "And Skaði suits you. Do you know what it means?"

She shook her head. _"I only liked the sound of it."_

"It is the old Norse word for 'damage'," Loki explained. "Not a noun, but as in the action 'to damage'." His smile deepened. "It is apropos."

"Wait, how exactly is Loki technically your _mother_?" Stark demanded.

Mellow amusement filled Loki's aching heart, and his senses seemed to settle a bit.

The Aether also looked amused. _"It's quite simple, Tony. Jane Foster caused a spark when she touched me for the first time. Loki thinks it's because humans live short lives, so they live all the more fiercely for it. But Loki found the spark and took it into himself, nurturing it. I grew inside him until I formed my own consciousness."_

Stark's lips quirked, suspiciously close to a grin. "So Jane provided the sperm."

"If you must be so crude," Loki said, his own smile still faintly present.

"Well, don't tell Thor you had a baby with his lady. It would break his heart."

The words startled a huff of laughter from Loki.

"And by the way," the man said, poking the Aether in the shoulder, "that isn't simple. It's stupidly complicated. But that's something I've come to accept about Loki. Sometimes, I just have to smile and nod."

"You do so quite often," Loki mused.

"Hey, pipe down in the peanut gallery. And come over here already. How am I supposed to kiss you from there?"

_"I made tea,"_ the Aether said, hopping up. _"I'll bring you some, Loki."_

Loki smiled his thanks.

"How come she gets cute pet names?" Stark demanded.

Loki made his way to Stark's side and sat down. "Perhaps because she is cute?"

"Hey, I'm cute too. Damn cute, in fact. You've seen me naked. How can you not think I'm cute?"

Loki idly wondered why Stark wasn't commenting on the visible gold lines in his skin. Without thought, he leaned toward his lover and rested his head on a broad shoulder.

"Cute is not the word I would use."

He could feel Stark's burst of pleasure. "Sexy, then." Decisive.

A soft snort. "If you like."

"I do like. I like very much. And I like it when you're all sweet and agreeable." So saying, he cupped Loki's chin and tilted his head back to kiss him.

The moment their lips touched, Loki's eyes widened in surprise. A split second later they fluttered shut. The disorienting confusion of the senses vanished. The relief was so powerful he wanted to weep. Instead he indulged Stark's insatiable appetite and melted into the kiss, opening his mouth for Stark to plunder.

The man immediately plunged his tongue inside, curling around Loki's and stroking up. His teeth nibbled and nipped, his arms going and around Loki and leaning him back until he was all but laying in Stark's arms. He didn't move and didn't try to take control, the man's heat seeping into him. He barely even responded to the kiss, simply enjoying the ministrations.

Stark chuckled through his nose, pulling back to nibble on Loki's lower lip. "You're being awfully docile right now. Makes me wanna bite you all over."

Loki smirked and tipped his chin back so Stark was now nibbling at his jaw and throat. "Please don't. I have enough marks on my skin."

"Yeah, but I didn't leave them," Stark argued, ever-so-gently biting at Loki's pulse.

Loki tilted his head back farther to give him better access. "True . . ."

"Fuck, you're being so sweet right now," Stark groaned, tangling his fingers in Loki's hair and pushing his head back up to fuse their mouths together again. "I love you," he whispered into the kiss. "You're stuck with me, so get used to the idea."

Of everyone who had kissed him, Loki distantly mused, none had kissed like this. This eating, consuming, devouring kiss that involved lips, tongue, and teeth. Quite a lot of teeth, really. A nipping sting of slight pain, a nibbling pleasure that made him shudder.

Nor had he ever had a lover who skillfully took control and seemed to enjoy giving pleasure far more than receiving it. _Well_ , he amended with an internal smile, _at least as much as receiving it._

Stark finally pulled back, and a smile immediately crossed his face. "You look like a goddess just receiving your due."

Minorly irritated, Loki reached up and brushed dark hair out of Stark's eyes. It was longer than five months ago, giving him a rakish look. "Must you emasculate me?"

Stark's chocolate brown eyes roved all over his face. "It's not that. You don't look like a woman. You're just so much more beautiful than some dumb man."

Loki smiled, stroking his fingers down Stark's jaw. With a small measure of regret, he sat upright. Stark didn't try to stop him. "Do you have enough knowledge of engineering to build an entire ship?"

Stark blinked. "Ship? As in, a spaceship?"

"Yes."

A long pause. "Maybe. Probably. If I had the right tools and materials. And a decent lab where I could download JARVIS into a computer core again."

Loki studied his face. "The technology in the city. Did you see any visible power sources?"

"One, actually," Stark said, nodding. "These blue orbs. So big." He held his hands the appropriate distance. "Glowing. They were pulling these carriage-like vehicles. And everyone had these little devices on their ear, like a Bluetooth. They had one of those orbs, tiny of course."

Frowning to himself, Loki looked away and stared across the clearing. _That sound_ _s_ _like_ . . . To know for sure, he'd need to see one, but there were two problems with that. Loki was too weak to travel such a distance. And Stark had no way of communicating with the residents to procure one in order to bring it here.

"What would we need a spaceship for?" Stark demanded abruptly.

Loki faced him again, raising an eyebrow. "I have no desire to convalesce in this forest for the rest of my life. We're in an entirely new part of the universe, Stark. Have you no interest in exploring it?"

The human looked surprised. "That . . . yeah. Hell yeah, I want to explore it. I guess I just never thought about _how_ we would explore it."

Smiling, Loki glanced up to see the Aether returning with two clay mugs of tea. "While you were there, did you happen to notice them exchanging any form of currency?"

"No," Stark said. "I could make a second trip, pay a little more attention?"

Loki shook his head. "No, I'll come with you this time."

Predictably, Stark immediately grinned. "That mean I get to carry you?"

Sighing, exasperated and strangely comforted, Loki shook his head. "Yes, Anthony."

The Aether handed him one mug of tea and the other to Stark. _"I'd like to see the city, too. I've been curious about it."_

Loki smiled at her. "You've been very patient, dearest."

_"I love you,"_ she said, _"and nothing is more important to me than you being well."_

"I love you for that," Stark piped up, sipping his tea and grimacing. "Damn, this isn't coffee."

The Aether laughed. _"I told you, I don't have any coffee."_

Stark gave her a morose look. "This tastes like dirt."

_"It's nettle tea, so it should taste like leaves,"_ she said in helpful tones.

Loki smiled into his mug. The taste wasn't wonderful, but it soothed the constant pain in his veins. Pain caused by the golden light. Poisoning him, the Aether called it.

Well, that wasn't so far off.


End file.
